1, 2 Freddie's Coming For You, 3, 4 You Better Lock Your Door, 5, 6 Grab Your Crucifix, 7, 8 Gonna Stay Up Late, 9, 10...Never Sleep Again

What ever happened to watching a horror movie and being so terrified that you couldn't bear to shut your eyes when you finally crawl into bed? What happened to monsters under your bed (Puppetmaster)? Or in your dreams (does Freddie, ring a bell)? Or deranged serial killers who only need to be remembered by one name (I can name at least 4...Angela, Jason, Michael, LEATHERFACE!)? Whatever happened to a killer being so scary that you never see him or know who he is (Black Christmas)? Whatever happened to things that go bump in the night (Susperia, The People Under The Stairs)? Whatever happened to demonic possessions actually being scary, and not funny (The Omen, The Exorcist, The Evil Dead)? Whatever happened to the horror movie?

I'll tell you what happened...Hollywood happened!

Any horror fan will tell you that Hollywood has had a definite effect on the horror movies that are sweeping into our movie theaters. Horror movies today will never compare to the cult classics of yesterday. And no matter how hard Hollywood tries to remake such classics they will never be the same.

What triggered these thoughts of mine? Well, I started thinking about this last night after my friends and I went to see "Dead Silence," a movie I was hoping was going to be better than what it actually was. Ok, so there's a local legend of Raven's Fair that if Mary Shaw visits you in your dreams, dare not scream cause she'll cut your tongue out, just as it happened to her. Well, Mary Shaw is back for her revenge with none other Billy, #57 of her 101 children, her dolls (ventriloquist dummies, actually). It starts out when the lead character, Jaime, comes home to find his wife dead, her tongue cut out, of course. Obviously, the dummy that was sent to her by an unmarked sender, is all to blame. So, Jaime heads back to his home town of Raven's Fair for some answers, but you shouldn't go poking your nose where it doesn't belong. That's rule number one of all horror movies! So, he finds out more about Mary Shaw, and to his (and to the audience's) surprise, Mary Shaw's one goal was to create the perfect doll...out of human remains. She's also out to revenge all those who took her tongue and her life...even years and years after the event. It sounds really good right? Unfortunately, the film didn't pan out that way.

I'm not one for spoiling a movie, so I won't continue on with what actually happened. I will, however, point out some things that stood out to me, both good and bad.

The Good: it was good to see an original, not another remake! Also, the special effects weren't the hyped up, over the top effects that every movie today seemingly has to have. And above all, the story was somewhat original. What other horror movie has a ventriloquist dummy in it? Let's see, Chucky was a doll, and Puppetmaster had puppets. Nope, no ventriloquist dummies here! And I even liked the fact that instead of a doll (cause it's been done plenty...besides the whole Chucky thing, there's Dolly Dearest, don't forget that one) I also liked the fact that it was about something from the past, something that no one thinks of as being scary.

The Bad: The lead actor who played Jaime. He wasn't a strong enough actor for this part. Also, the plot line in general. It could have been a really good movie, but it used all the same cliches, which made it predictable. For example, Jaime, is informed by the undertakers wife, Marion (who seems a big off her rocker holding a stuffed crow, but is the smartest person in the whole movie) to bury the doll. Well, of course Jaime listens, and he goes in the dead of night, to the cemetery to bury Billy. Well, what do you think is going to happen, Billy is not going to stay placed in his doll sized coffin, and he's going to appear, just at the right moment, at the drivers side of Jaime's car! Duh, we all knew that was going to happen. The dialog was also a bit cheesy...."Don't laugh, I've got a gun, I'll shoot you!" Well, what else are you supposed to do with a gun!?!? And I need to mention Donnie Wahlberg...yes you know him as the bad boy of New Kids on the Block...yup he was in it. (honestly I wanted him to break out in song and dance...oh oh oh oooh, oh oh oh...the right stuff!)

I guess, being nice (which isn't often for me) I would grade "Dead Silence" between a very low C or a high D. Was it a good movie? No. Was it enjoyable? Yes, to laugh at. Does it need to be a part of my DVD collection? Definitely...NOT!

After thinking about all of this, I went on to think about remakes and I became curious to find out what movies are going to be remade. This is what I found:

"Halloween" is being remade by Rob Zombie. "The Birds," "Susperia," and "The Evil Dead" are all films that are being talked about to being remade. Isn't it enough that they made "The Evil Dead" an off-Broadway musical, which I won't lie, want to see! God, I hope not. Now, if they remake "Sleepaway Camp" we'll have big problems. They got it right the first time around, why try to top that?

And just for sheer enjoyment, my top 5 horror movies:

(New/Remakes)

5. House of Wax
4. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
3. The Ring
2. The Hills Have Eyes
1. The Amityville Horror

(Cult Classics)

5. Susperia
4. The Evil Dead
3. The Exorcist
2. The Omen
1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre